There’s a certain “Hallmark” holiday happening today, and while it has nothing to do with us Jews due to its origins (we have our own holiday, Tu B’av), I am not blind to the rest of the secular world around me; there are hearts, chocolates, and flowers on display everywhere. After all, I live in secular society, so over my life I have participated minimally in the “festivities,” such as giving candy or small gifts to friends and family. But, I’m not writing this to talk about Valentine’s Day.
It just so happens that it’s Shabbat (and in this week's parasha, Yitro, we are given Shabbat), and an idea sparked to write on the topic of love and unity, based on some of our texts and teachings. I debated whether or not I should (after all, I could wait until August for Tu B’av), but as irrational as it might sound to some, I was divinely guided to write and publish this for this particular Shabbat.
As with most things involving divine guidance, I am only partially aware of the reasoning for this at this current moment in time, which revolves around the fact that I’ve spent the last six months or so knee-deep in research and study within Jewish Mysticism, and I still have barely made an indention in the plethora of Jewish texts and commentaries available. I will most likely be studying this the rest of my life, along with other topics in Jewish thought, always looking to expand my mind, both personally and spiritually, but that’s beside the point. From that you can gather that most of what I’m presenting is coming from a mystical point of view, so take from that what you will, we each are on our own paths personally, spiritually, or both. With that, these are my own thoughts and interpretations, this is a piece of what I can already imagine will be a much larger work later on, so let’s take a leap of faith and dive in!
In the Beginning...
Hillel’s teaching is often paraphrased as “Love thy neighbor as thyself, all the rest is commentary.” As we know, love has many definitions and forms. After all, it is the “most powerful force” in the world. But I'm going to focus on the kind of love that some people would label as just “fairytale nonsense,” which is Soulmates. Jewish thought on soulmates appears across numerous texts, and while the topic is most prominent in mystical texts, they first appear in the Tanakh (Hebrew Bible) and Talmud. It all begins with Adam and Eve in Genesis. When Adam is first created, he is both male** and female** before God splits him to create Eve. They are literally two halves of a whole, created for each other. All concepts of souls and soulmates in Jewish thought branch off of this.
While most of the content I'm sampling today is from a couple Kabbalistic texts and Tanakh, this quote from Talmud can easily be attributed to the expanded thought process the Kabbalists will teach later on. From Sotah 2a “The Sages taught: Forty days before the formation of a child, a heavenly voice goes forth and declares: ‘The daughter of so-and-so is destined for so-and-so; this house is for so-and-so; this field is for so-and-so.’” So with that background, let’s jump forward to the Kabbalists. The Kabbalists say that our souls originate from a single source, and as they descend down, they are split in two, into what could be labeled as “masculine” and “feminine” energies**, each on a mission to seek reunification in this world. As it says in Zohar I:85b Lech Lecha 21:204-207:
“All the souls in the world, which are the fruit of the handiwork of the Eternal, are all mystically one, but when they descend to this world they are separated into masculine and feminine, though these are still connected as one. When they first issue forth, they issue as masculine and feminine together. Subsequently, when they descend (to this world) they separate, one to one side and the other to the other, and God afterwards mates them-God and no other, God alone knowing the mate proper to each.”The last part of that also extends into the concept of how when soulmates are united, the Divine Presence (Shechinah) dwells among them, bringing blessings into the world, as we can interpret from Sefer HaBahir 119-120, “When they are good and righteous, the Divine Presence dwells among them… as it is written (Isaiah 1:21), “Righteousness dwells in it.” But what does it mean by “righteous”? One synonym for “righteous” is “worthy.” What makes us worthy? The mere fact that we exist. We are all created in the image of the Divine, with sparks of Light within each of us. The “righteousness” that dwells in the union is knowing that you are worthy of love, just as you are.
Recognition
Now that we know how soulmates originate, the next obvious question is: how do we know we have found ours? We can look at Song of Songs 4:9 for the answer, “You have captured my heart, with one glance of your eyes.” I’m not saying anything new here, there are countless love songs dedicated to the same sentiment, and we all have heard the saying, “the eyes are the window to the soul.” So, much like The Song says, we know it when we see it, it is an immediate recognition, a sense of safety, of home, and yet, no words can really do it justice because it is unlike anything else you’ve ever felt. You just know that you saw something completely different in their eyes, with the only thought in your head being “Everything you thought you knew or believed is about to completely change, and you need to be ready, because this is it.” That’s not to discredit love growing over time, because it does, but you just know that you’re “vibing” at a completely different frequency from the jump, you just intuitively know. And you catch all of that with a glance in their eyes.
Some of us have either personally experienced this, or we know someone that has, and we can attest to the Light that comes from these couples, that when united, their light shines brightly for all to see, healing those it touches, and giving hope to the world around them. In Sefer HaBahir 13 it reads, “Light was actually brought into existence, as it is written (Genesis 1:3), "And God said, let there be light." Something cannot be brought into existence unless it is made. The term "formation" is therefore used.” I want to point out the usage of the word “formation” here, if we look at Sefer HaBahir 198 the word “formed” is used again when describing God creating humans:
“The Blessed Holy One created Human male and female, as it is written (Genesis 1:27), ‘Creating them male and female.’ Is it then possible to say this? Does it not say (Genesis 1:27), ‘And God created humankind in the divine image, creating it in the image of God’ and afterward (Genesis 2:18), ‘I will make a fitting counterpart for him,’ and then (Genesis 2:21), ‘God took one of his sides and closed up the flesh at that site’?... But we must say that the Torah uses [three different words]: ‘formed’ (yatzar), ‘made’ (asah), and ‘created’ (bara). When the soul was made, the word ‘made’ is used. [The word ‘created’ is then used:] ‘Creating them male and female.’ The word ‘formed’ was used when the soul was combined with the body and the spirit was brought together. How do we know that ‘forming’ means bringing together? For it is written (Genesis 2:19), ‘And God formed (gathered) out of the earth all the wild beasts and all the birds of the sky, and brought them to the Human to see what he would call them.’ This explains the verse (Genesis 5:2), ‘Male and female they were created.’ It is also written (Genesis 1:28), ‘And God blessed them.’”By recognizing the use of the word “formed/formation” in both passages, we could say that this teaches that the light was created as masculine and feminine, when formed together, they bring blessings into the world. “What is the meaning of ‘created’? God created everything that was needed for all things…’Also one opposite the other was made by God.’ (Ecclesiastes 7:14)” (Sefer HaBahir 10-11). Our “opposite” helps our souls to find balance, within ourselves and the world, we are meant to reunite the two as they were originally created. This is why we yearn for our unification in the physical world. Which brings us to the greatest example of that yearning within our texts: The Song of Songs.
Divine Union
Over millennia, the rabbis and Sages have all debated the reasoning or justification of The Song’s inclusion in our canon. Why would a text that doesn’t mention God be included? And how dare an unmarried woman be so open about her desires! They say “It’s an allegory for God’s love for Israel!” or “an allegory for us seeking Wisdom!” Rabbi Akiva defended its inclusion, calling it “the holy of holies.” Rabbi Akiva’s sentiment is echoed in Sefer HaBahir 173-174:
“What is the meaning of ‘beautiful’? It is the beauty of all things. This is also the beauty of the Song of Songs, as it says (Song of Songs 6:10): ‘Who is she that shines through like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, radiant as the sun, awesome as bannered hosts?’... And what is the reason that you said that the Song of Songs is beautiful? Yes, it is the most beautiful of all the Holy Scriptures. Rabbi Yochanan thus said: All Scripture is holy, and all the Torah is holy, but the Song of Songs is the Holy of Holies. What is the meaning of the Holy of Holies? It means that it is holy for the Holy Ones.”It’s no secret that The Song is my personal favorite piece of Scripture. That passage above references one of my favorite verses within it, and uses it to explain its holiness. But why is it holy? It’s holy because we can personally relate to it. We understand the yearning, the desire, the fear of rushing in too soon, the ups and downs, and all of the emotions that come along with falling in love. In my opinion, it’s included because it is through love that we experience God. God wants us to love, to seek that unity with our other half, although the path towards unity is not always easy. Ironically, the difficulties are because we stand in our own way, whether it be pride, ego, or fear driving us away. Love itself is easy, effortless, and healing. It's the reason the path is worth taking. That is why God split Adam to create Eve, because God didn’t want us to be alone, as it says in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the Human to be alone; I will make a fitting counterpart for him.” The split was an act of love.
Traditionally, we recite “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine” (Song of Songs 6:3) at weddings because it’s a statement of unity, two people fully giving and receiving each other, two souls becoming one in Divine Union. In Kabbalistic thought, there are three columns that must be in balance, the Left, Right, and Central. Unified souls fill in the Left and the Right columns, which allows the Shechinah to fill in the Central column, thus dwelling between them and completing the balance. Keep in mind, I’m not saying that a legal marriage is required for unity, souls can be “married” in the spiritual sense regardless of what laws may or may not exist in the world, by the simple decision to commit to one another in such a way. After all, in The Song, the man refers to his beloved as his “bride” even though they are not married, but they are committed to each other anyway, sealing their union in Song of Songs 8:6-7,
“Let me be a seal upon your heart, like the seal upon your hand. For love is fierce as death, passion is mighty as Sheol; Its darts are darts of fire, a blazing flame. Vast floods cannot quench love, nor rivers drown it.”So with all that being said, we can look at The Song and say that their actions towards their union, is the mitzvah to love regardless of what the world around them thinks or struggles to understand, and so God doesn’t need to make an appearance, because by emulating their love, we are in the presence of God. As it says in Zohar I:101b Vayera 6:98, “it is because of the union of the masculine and the feminine as one, which is the secret of true faith.”
Shabbat
So how am I tying in soulmates into Shabbat? Every week, we sing Lecha Dodi to welcome the Sabbath Bride. This stems from the mystical thought on Shabbat being the day in which Tiferet (the masculine) and Shechinah (the feminine) aspects of the Divine unify, bringing harmony, blessing, and spiritual illumination into the world. To “unify” soulmates with Shabbat, let’s look at this passage from Zohar II:99b Mishpatim 3:105-106:
“The soul (Neshamah) emerges from above and spirit (Ruach) from below, and they unite as one, masculine and feminine. When they unite, a higher illumination shines. Through their union, they are called a candle (Heb. ner), as it is written ‘The human soul is the candle of God’ (Prov. 20:27). What is the meaning of “candle” (ner)? It consists of Neshamah and Ruach (NeR).” Neshamah and Ruach in union, bring forth light, shining together. They do not shine without each other, and when they join, the whole is called a candle.” The Neshamah is the intellectual soul (masculine) and Ruach is the emotional soul (feminine). Now let's think back to what I said earlier about our souls splitting off from one source. Some Kabbalists say this source is a single Divine flame, when split, becomes two flames* that when reunited burn together as a single light, with the Shechinah dwelling between them. If we look at the Hebrew words for man (ish, ,איש, Aleph, Yud, Shin) and woman (isha, אשה, Aleph, Shin, Hey) they share the same letters for esh (אש, Aleph and Shin), which means "fire" or “flame.” By combining the Yud (י) in ish and the Hey (ה) in isha, they form “Yah” (יה) which is a divine name that invokes the Divine Presence, and so we can interpret that the two flames become a single entity, much like the Light of Shabbat. Think about it: every Shabbat we light two candles, traditionally one for “observance/guarding” and one for “remembrance/keeping.” Referencing Zohar II:118b Mishpatim 16:456-457 it states:
“And they are marked with ‘Zachor’ (Remember) and ‘Shamor’ (Guard) on Shabbat… And the Holy One, blessed be He, is ‘Zachor’ on the right and ‘Shamor’ on the left… But from the side of Chesed (kindness), the Holy One, blessed be He, is ‘Zachor’ (remember), and the Shechinah (Divine Presence) is ‘Shamor’ (guard). As the masters of the Mishnah have established, ‘Zachor’ corresponds to the male, and ‘Shamor’ to the bride. Because on the right and the left, branches separate, similar to the wings of the lungs, which are divided above… both are united as one… where there is no separation.”We have now established that our souls are candles, that the masculine embodiment of Zachor is Neshamah, our candle on the right, and that the feminine embodiment of Shamor is Ruach, our candle on the left, burning together in unity. That when we dwell among the two flames, we are inviting in the presence of the Divine, allowing that essence to illuminate our entire being. As stated previously, “through their union, they are called a candle…’the human soul is the candle of God’” which shines brighter through their unity, ushering in blessings and peace. Love is the essence of the Divine, it is a blessing that brings about peace in our lives, just like Shabbat.
Here are a couple additional verses to further connect soulmate union to that of the candles of Shabbat:
Zohar I:21b Bereshit 12:142
“A third light is that which combines these other two, and shines for healing…”Zohar I:51a Bereshit 86:265
"And the candle burns upon them, and the lights unite as one, illuminating the worlds, and blessings flow above and below."
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