Originally from July 26, 2024 (20 Tamuz 5784) - written for Shabbat Service
This week’s Torah portion is Pinchas, in which a lot happens. The parashat begins where we left off last week with Phineas having just killed an Israelite man and a Midianite woman for their forbidden act in the Tent of Meeting, and God granting Phineas with a “pact of friendship” for his actions. Then the portion continues on with another census of men of fighting age, the five daughters of Zelophehad forcing change in property inheritance, Joshua is chosen as Moses’ successor, before the portion ends with sacrificial rituals for holidays and Shabbat. That gives us many options to discuss or debate, which is why Torah Study is so engaging. For myself, this Torah cycle has been focused on my personal relationship to Torah, which was not my original intent this year, it just happened that many times the themes of each parashat have lined up with my own life that week, strengthening my connection to the text and reminding me of why we continuously cycle through it, each time we notice or pick up on something different. So I’m not necessarily going to “teach” a lesson from this week’s parashat, but talk about how I’m connecting this portion to my life.
When I signed up to lead services, I chose tonight because it would've been my grandfather, Leonard Meyers’, 103rd birthday, and for those who do not know, my grandfather is where my Jewish ancestry stems from and is why my Hebrew name is Leor Dov in memory of both him and my mother, so doing this tonight felt like a great way to honor him today. There are two themes I want to talk about from the portion, the first being about the two people Phineas kills, Zimri and Cozbi, since this is where the halacha of banning intermarriage comes from, and how that is misunderstood and not what God intended, which coming from an interfaith family background, my grandfather being Jewish and my grandmother being Lutheran, and how I’ve heard throughout my life about how madly in love they were, I wanted to point out a reflection from some of the mystic sages, Rabbis Isaac Luria, Chaim vital, Abraham Azulai, and the Izbeca Rabbi that I found while reading an old article on the Jewish Journal by Rabbi John Rosove titled “Finding Light Amidst Darkness - D’var Torah Pinchas”:“There are ten degrees of fornication in the world. At the lowest level, the worst, the will to sin is even greater than the desire to perform the act, and the person has to urge himself on to sally out into the world and sully it. At each ascending level, however, the protagonist’s will becomes progressively more powerful that no human will in the world would be strong enough to vanquish it. We must conclude that it was not a sin at all, but God’s will. Zimri and Cozbi, far from being wicked sinners, were ordained from the beginning of creation.”
In other words, Zimri’s and Cozbi’s love was so high and exalted that it could neither be realized nor sustained in the real world, reminding us of forbidden love of Romeo and Juliet and that of the maiden and her beloved in Song of Songs 8:6-7, “Let me be a seal upon your heart, like the seal upon your hand. For love is fierce as death, passion is mighty as Sheol; Its darts are darts of fire, a blazing flame. Vast floods cannot quench love, nor rivers drown it.” Halacha-ly speaking, my grandparents’ love was forbidden, but was so powerful that it inspired not only those who witnessed it, but has served as inspiration for myself, who only has experienced it through the stories I’ve been told.
The second theme is related to the five daughters of Zelophehad and the topic of inheritance. How does this relate to me? Well, first, my grandfather had four daughters and no sons. Looking at Numbers 27:4, “Let not our father’s name be lost to his clan just because he had no son! Give us a holding among our father’s kinsmen!” I admit, I’m going to be literal here, first focusing on the first part of the verse “let not our father’s name be lost to his clan just because he had no son.” Because my grandfather had no sons, when his daughters (my aunts) had children, the name “Meyers” could’ve been easily forgotten, since all of the grandchildren had their father’s last names. It wasn’t until my mom had my brother, who’s father wasn’t involved, did the name get to be inherited to someone who could carry on the family name. My brother also had a brit milah at my grandfather's request because he had hoped to raise him Jewish, which didn't end up happening but nonetheless was the original “plan.” Now how does that tie into me and my overall journey? When I was born my mom was married to my father at the time (who is not Jewish), so my last name wasn’t Meyers and I was not going to be raised Jewish specifically, outside of knowing that it's part of my family history and to be proud of that. As long as I can remember, I was always really jealous of the fact that my brother was meant to “inherit” what I truly felt should’ve also been mine, a Jewish name and a Jewish life, even though he didn’t end up being raised Jewish, but it was the idea that he was given the option and I was not, and trust me, I complained about it to anyone that would listen. Once I was an adult, I was able to take the steps towards reclaiming my so-called “inheritance” and the first thing I did was change my last name to Meyers, which meant that I had to go before a judge, just like the five daughters going before Moses, to be granted this request. Then over the course of time, I had to really learn and incorporate Judaism into my life, and then, yet again, go before judges, a very lovely beit din, to be granted my place among our tribe, or to connect it into the last part of the verse from Numbers 27:4 “give us a holding among our father’s kinsmen.” Sure, this is technically my grandfather’s kinsmen that I speak of, but I strongly felt a right to what I felt was meant to be my inheritance familially, to not let the name or place among the clan to be lost, and it has been one the greatest and most fulfilling things I have ever done and continue to do for myself.
The lesson here overall is one of how amazing Torah is, especially when we can find ways to personalize and connect it into our lives and experiences.
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